Warning: Full rant and self-pity
I am being pitiful...miserable...sad. It is a full-out pity party starring me in my pajamas with a bag of trail mix, a bottle of Rum, and a full list of movies on cable...all drama! Today is the day of the month I hate most lately...when I find out for sure that yet another month has passed and I am not pregnant. In 9 months, I have lost two babies and had 4 consecutive months of infertility. Yet, everyone tells me to be patient and keep my head up...I appreciate the sympathy and the attempts to make me feel better, but I dont want to feel better...I want answers and solutions. I want to finish decorating the nursery without feeling like I am wasting my time. I want to walk past the park without feeling like all the mothers are laughing at me. Most of all, I want to stop feeling like a failure. This is the ugly side of the process. Okay - I am done.
I promise the next post will have REAL adoption-related information or updates.
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